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Nice hangin’ With My 4th Grade Squad 4th Of July Shirt! Bradley Cooper calls Terry Real's work "nothing magical", which "simply changed my life". Paltrow, who recently hosted a live chat with Real, says his work is important "for those of us who seek true intimacy". Bruce Springsteen, who wrote the foreword to Real's new book, We: Overcoming You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship, wrote about being "lost in a deep dark forest, part big is my own making” and his long efforts to “find my way through the trees, down the river of sustainable life”. Real helped lead him to that river, he wrote. Real, who practices in Boston but flies all over the world to attend sessions, is the founder of Relationship Life Therapy, or RLT, a radical form of couples therapy that breaks with conventions. ancient. He sided unabashedly. He swears and makes jokes. He shares stories from his own life, rather than on a regular blank board. Real's fees are as high as an hour, but he's famous for digging deep into core issues with near-superhuman speed and accuracy, completing in months, which would normally take many years.
But you don't have to be a healthcare mogul to join one of his sessions. I did one of Real's weekend mind games with my husband when we were on the verge of breaking up. Real's famously blunt truth-telling can be offensive and he exposes me to things that I would never reveal to another person. But he not only saved our marriage but also influenced a profound and permanent change in our relationship. Real said: “I am a fickle person. "People come to me when they are on the verge of disaster when so far no one has been able to help." We now practice what Real calls “living with full respect,” which is that no interaction falls below a simple level of respect. Nice hangin’ With My 4th Grade Squad 4th Of July Shirt! He told us there was a fine line between assertiveness and aggression, and we must not cross it. That means no yelling, mocking, ignoring, or letting his particular pet vent, which he says is a "losing strategy" that erodes relationships and won't hurt. Your partner changes. If an argument threatens to escalate, we are asked to ask ourselves: Is what I am about to say respectful? Putting this simple rule into practice shows how often we are unintentionally rude to each other. “I'm sick of you leaving your crap everywhere” is a world away from “I wish you wouldn't leave your clothes on the floor”. It still takes daily effort, but overall, we made it.
